I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
