My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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