I showed him my bush... on skype.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize