I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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