i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it was like eating out sand paper
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
