i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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