I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
