you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
