To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
