we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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