Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize