You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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