I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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