When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
