hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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