chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
