Don't you send me to vm
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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