: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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