A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
