This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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