at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize