Betty ford says i'm here all night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
COCAINE IS GR8
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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