I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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