The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
