He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
