She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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