i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
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sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
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I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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