You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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