I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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