Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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