I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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