So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
