I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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