im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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