There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
