Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
