Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
