I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
