so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
