His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
