he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
