white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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