Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I got inside last night via doggy door
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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