The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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