he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
