The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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