My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
