Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
