He asked to "fluff my boner.."
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
