wrigley field is MILF paradise
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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