There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize