He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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