She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
