There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You are the jesus of drinking
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
