people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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