My liver just broke up with me...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
