the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy