it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.