So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
