So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries