Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
