You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
