erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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