I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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