i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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