I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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