I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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