Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
