absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
