Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
