escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
