you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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